Dare Greatly - Embrace Who You Are

It dawned on me (yesterday) that sometimes we carry around dark thoughts in our heart that don’t belong there. I was having conflict with a friend and trying to figure out why there was such an amiss between us. I started asking more questions and found myself at the root of the conflict. (I can see you rolling your eyes at me and nodding your head knowingly. I hope you can see my roll my eyes back at you - because I see you too…and yes, my eyes might get stuck back there… but, you’re with it. note thick sarcasm please :)
It is a humble thing to note that you might be part of the problem or in the very least… you might play a part in the conflict. It’s a healthy thing to be able to admit to your short comings and when you have done wrong. This a spot that we have a hard time embracing a failing without getting extreme and struggling under the weight of failure. Note the tenses that those to words are referenced. 
embracing a failing 
weight of failure
Ron and I were having a conversation about leadership this week and how to create safety and trust in the work place. How can we influence individuals to feel free to embrace where they’re at and also admit when they need help? Ron was reading in Brene Brown’s, “Daring Greatly” (fab book by the way... worth saying, I like lots of her writing) some helpful statements that we could learn to embrace more. 
• I don’t know. • I need help. • I’d like to give it a shot. • It’s important to me. • I disagree—can we talk about it? • It didn’t work, but I learned a lot. • Yes, I did it. • Here’s what I need. • Here’s how I feel. • I’d like some feedback. • Can I get your take on this? • What can I do better next time? • Can you teach me how to do this? • I played a part in that. • I accept responsibility for that. • I’m here for you. • I want to help. • Let’s move on. • I’m sorry. • That means a lot to me. • Thank you.
It has me thinking that we could all learn to embrace a little more willingness to be vulnerable with one another (not just in the workplace, but in the whole of our lives). We need to be willing to hear feedback from others knowing that your contribution matters to those around us. We need to find ways to give feedback to one another in a way that honours another and makes it safe to grow in a matter. I write those words knowing how hard it is to be on both sides of that equation. I have a need to grow in all of the above. 
So today, I’m admitting that I want help. 
I called my dad and asked if he could help walk 8 huge canvases up into my studio.  (I am working on a new collection being launched at the Cultural Centre in the new year - keep you posted on that.) I could have probably moved the canvases myself (with a lot of effort), but I choose to ask for help. (My muscles in my right foot still have a hard time doing stairs properly since my bones reformed a couple years ago). I could feel my soul growing as we worked together on getting the canvases into the studio (him on the staircase, and me handing them to him). We need each other and we need to remember it’s ok to need. It’s ok to fail. It’s right to grow.  
Remember to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Give yourself permission to grow. (Give yourself permission to take an extra long pause and drink a second cup of coffee with a friend. Yes I did that today and yes it felt great!)
In the words of Brene Brown, “Be yourself, show up and be seen and be courageous. Dare Greatly”
Cheering for you!
Christmas is just around the corner… Merriest of the Christmas season to you! 
Esther Hoogendoorn
Operations Lead, Decades Coffee

Decades Coffee Club